PRIVACY POLICY
AMERICA'S GREAT SELL-OFF™ | STAUBER'S MN REALTY
Last Updated: March 21, 2025
Unlike Congressman Stauber, we believe in transparency. This Privacy Policy outlines the minimal information we collect when you visit our satirical real estate website, and unlike the politicians we parody, we won't sell your data to the highest bidder.
1. INFORMATION WE COLLECT
America's Great Sell-Off™ (the "Site") collects only basic, non-personally identifiable information through standard web server logs. Unlike the privatization of public assets, we keep our data collection to a minimum. The information we collect includes:
- IP Addresses: Your IP address is logged by our web server (nginx) to help us understand website traffic patterns and troubleshoot technical issues.
- Browser Information: We collect information about the browser and device you use to access our Site.
- Access Times: We record the date and time you access our Site.
- Pages Visited: We log which pages you view on our Site.
- Referring Websites: If you click a link from another website to reach us, we record the source.
This information is collected automatically through our web server logs and is not combined with other information to personally identify you.
2. HOW WE USE YOUR INFORMATION
Unlike politicians who promise one thing and do another, we're straightforward about how we use the information we collect:
- Website Improvement: We analyze traffic patterns to improve our Site's performance and content.
- Security Purposes: We use server logs to detect and address potential security threats.
- Technical Troubleshooting: We use this information to identify and fix technical issues.
UNLIKE REAL ESTATE SPECULATORS, we don't use your information to sell you overpriced assets, and UNLIKE CERTAIN POLITICIANS, we don't trade your interests away to benefit special interests.
3. INFORMATION SHARING AND DISCLOSURE
We value your privacy more than Congressman Stauber values public lands. We do not sell, trade, rent, or otherwise share your information with third parties. The only exceptions to this policy are:
- Legal Requirements: We may disclose information if required by law or in response to valid requests by public authorities.
- Protection of Rights: We may disclose information when we believe it's necessary to protect our rights or safety.
4. DATA RETENTION
We retain server logs containing the information described above for no longer than 90 days, after which they are automatically deleted. This retention period is shorter than a congressional term, and certainly shorter than the environmental damage caused by unregulated mining in the BWCA.
5. COOKIES AND TRACKING
Our Site doesn't use cookies or tracking technologies. Unlike some politicians who follow the money, we don't follow you around the internet.
6. YOUR RIGHTS AND CHOICES
You have more rights on our website than citizens have when natural resources are privatized:
- Do Not Track: Since we don't use tracking technologies, your browser's "Do Not Track" settings won't affect your experience on our Site.
- Access Limitation: If you're concerned about the minimal information we collect, you can use a VPN or Tor browser to mask your IP address.
7. CHILDREN'S PRIVACY
Our Site is not intended for children under 13 years of age. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children under 13. If you are a parent or guardian and believe we may have collected information about a child, please contact us at the address below.
8. CHANGES TO THIS POLICY
We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. Unlike congressional voting records that get buried in committee minutes, we'll clearly post any changes to this policy on this page with an updated "Last Updated" date.
9. CONTACT INFORMATION
If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us at:
hello@staubermn.com