Public Assets For Sale!
Everything Must Go! No Reasonable Offer Refused!
Available Public Assets
Boundary Waters Canoe Area (BWCA)
Starting at $5.2B HOT!
Pristine wilderness perfect for mining operations! Includes 1,000+ lakes and streams (mineral rights included). Environmental regulations? What environmental regulations?
Medicaid – Healthcare Investment Opportunity
$32B/year EXCLUSIVE
Turn this public healthcare program into a profit machine! Includes 1.1 million vulnerable Minnesotans. No medical experience required!
Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) – Minnesota Division
$1.8B SAFETY OPTIONAL
Control Minnesota's airspace! Set your own safety standards and charge whatever landing fees you want. The sky's the limit!
The Great Lakes Economy – Tax Revolution
Price on Request TARIFFS INCLUDED
Implement 25% tariffs on Canadian goods! Destroy decades of trade cooperation in one fell swoop! Comes with immediate economic chaos.
Social Security Administration – Minnesota Branch
$18B/year SENIORS INCLUDED
Control retirement funds for 1 million Minnesota seniors! Convert this "entitlement" into a private investment vehicle. Golden years, golden profits!
Minnesota National Forests - Premium Timber Estate
$12.3B CLEARCUT READY!
4.5 million acres of pristine forests ready for aggressive logging operations! Environmental protections? We don't know her.
Lake Superior Watershed - PolyMet Mining Estate
Environmental Price: Priceless OLIGARCH APPROVED
Control 10% of the world's freshwater! Perfect for sulfide mining with centuries of pollution guaranteed. Russian oligarch connections included!
Presidential Pardons - Premium Legal Immunity
Starting at $100K JUSTICE FOR SALE
Why face consequences when you can buy your way out? Perfect for insurrectionists, corporate criminals, and anyone with deep pockets!
Rural USPS Portfolio - Post Office Privatization Estate
Asking: Asset Value Only SHUTDOWN READY
102 rural post offices ready for immediate closure! Why deliver mail to rural communities when you can maximize shareholder value?
