America For Sale!
Public Services Under the Hammer!
🔥 Pete's Priority Privatizations 🔥
⚡ HOT PROPERTIES! LIMITED TIME ONLY! ⚡
The "Block Grant" Fixer-Upper
Why subsidize healthcare when you can subsidize deficits? Supported by the Republican Study Committee Budget.
Funding Cut: $32B View Listing
The "Rural Carrier" Deletion
Prime opportunity to eliminate service standards! Perfect for delayed prescriptions and lost ballots.
Delivery Time: +3 Days View Listing
National Forests – Timber Profits!
(Trees are just vertical logs waiting to be harvested!)
View Listing
The "Chilean Conglomerate" Special
Why let American resources sit idle? Sold to Antofagasta/Twin Metals for maximum extraction.
Zoning Variance: H.J. Res 140 View Listing
Border Economy – Tariff Opportunity!
(25% Canada Tariffs - Who needs neighbors or allies?)
View Listing
Social Security – Retirement Profits!
(Seniors worked hard for decades... now you cash in!)
View Listing🏢 Privatization Categories 🏢
Browse by category to find the perfect public good to transform into private profit!
★ EACH CATEGORY BACKED BY SPECIAL INTEREST MONEY ★
💥 LIMITED TIME FIRE SALES! 💥
ACT FAST! THESE DEALS WON'T LAST! DEMOCRACY CLEARANCE EVENT!
- FLASH DEAL: Rural Post Offices! Close them all and save big on delivery costs!
- GOING FAST: National Forests - Become a Logging Tycoon Overnight!
- HOT ITEM: Social Security - Wall Street's Next Big Score!
- NEW LISTING: Presidential Pardons - Justice Just Got Profitable!
- LAST CHANCE: Lake Superior Watershed - Russian Oligarch Approved!
⭐ Satisfied Donors & Lobbyists ⭐
Don't just take our word for it! See what our VIP clients are saying!
"I funded Pete's campaign for just $50,000 and got a $5 million mining permit in return! Best ROI ever!"
"Stauber promised to let us drill in protected wilderness areas. Forget future generations, there's money to be made NOW!"
"We're excited about the healthcare privatization opportunities. Sure, millions will lose coverage, but think of the shareholders!"
Don't worry about the citizens of Minnesota! They're just collateral damage in our profit-making strategy!
⚡ Don't Wait, Public Assets Are Going Fast! ⚡
Join Congressman Pete Stauber in his mission to sell off America piece by piece to the highest bidder!
⭐ OVER $1 TRILLION IN PUBLIC ASSETS LIQUIDATED! ⭐
*Disclaimer: Congress already sold - all sales final, no refunds. Side effects may include loss of democracy, environmental destruction, and increased inequality.